Healing

Sometimes I find myself on my knees.




The Lord has humbled me in many ways recently. And I'm okay with that, and I praise His name for that.




But sometimes I find myself asking Him, "Why??"




As in my last post, I really try to step out of MY WORLD and see things from HIS world--a bigger perspective.

Right now, in this moment as I try to do so, I'm really trying to see where God is taking this. I just found out that my knee that I have had 2 surgeries on, probably has contracted MRSA again. For those of you who do not know, MRSA stands for Methicillin-Resistant staphylococcus aureus. It is a serious and sometimes lethal staph infection. I've had it in my knee since my ACL repair and I suffered through various antibiotics and being allergic to certain ones and just an off an on cycle with this stuff for a year. Then I had a surgery to clean it out. It seems to have been better since then until it started swelling up recently. I thought it might be back, but I was hoping it was just a pocket that filled with fluid or some other source of inflammation.




Today, however, the scar popped open again at track practice and the nasty yellow puss came out again. Why??? If this is in my joint I will need a surgery to take out my ACL and put tubes with antibiotics in my knee for 6 weeks, and then the WHOLE replacement ACL surgery--AGAIN!?!? 4-9 months recovery AGAIN! And even if it is just another basic clean-out surgery... My parents can't afford this stuff right now, and I surely can't. I know God provides...

But I don't understand.

I am currently checking my life for sin at the moment.

I just don't understand why--I have put my faith in God about this healing over and over again... And I give glory to Him for healing me--yet it attacks again! It is devastating me. I don't know how to understand this. I don't know what this means. I don't know how God wants me to respond or what He wants me to do through this. I'm so just lost right now.




Right now is the time to just fall on my knees and trust Him.




4 Surely he took up our pain
and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed.

Isaiah 53:4-5




Isaiah 40:31: "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint."




Psalm 34:19 "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all."




Jeremiah 30:17 "For I will restore health unto you, and I will heal you of your wounds, saith the Lord."




Jeremiah 33:6 "Behold, I will bring you health and cure, and I will cure you, and will reveal unto you the abundance of peace and truth."




Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."




1 Thessalonians 5:23 "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly [completely]; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless [sound, complete and intact] unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.




1 Peter 2:24 "Who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness-- by whose stripes you were healed."




Psalm 103:2-3 "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who heals all thy diseases"




James 5:14-15 "Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord: And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him."




John 10:10 "The thief (satan) does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I (Jesus) have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."

(I am going to use this verse again and again!!! )




I John 5:4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.





2 Peter 1:3-4 "As His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust."






Proverbs 3:7-8 "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones."






Psalm 30:2 "O LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me."





I fully, 100% believe this:


Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.






I John 5:14-15 "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him."






I have a little story:


Luke 18:1-8


[18:1] Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. [2] He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. [3] And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'


[4] "For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, [5] yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "


[6] And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. [7] And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? [8] I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"










I am going to be on my knees, I am going to praying fervently. This is NOT going to break my faith. God is going to heal me. This sickness has no place in me. It is of Satan to harm me, and God is going to heal me. He has healed me eternally and He will heal me of the pains of this world. I rebuke this sickness. By Jesus' stripes I am healed and this MRSA has no place in my body. My body is Christ's and holy place for Him, there is no place for the sicknesses of this world.






I thank God so much for Christ's death for me and His salvation. I am so humbled by the pain of this world and my imperfection, and the smallness of my faith, even as it grows. He is doing so much more in me than I can even realize. And this is one of the HARDEST things for me to swallow--this MRSA is like a cancer eating away at my body, killing me every day, flaring up when I thought it was gone. God is going to get rid of it once and for all and He is going to teach me through this and increase my faith. I hate this and this is something I don't understand. But this is where I have to just trust Him. I am scared, but faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (see Hebrews 11:11). It doesn't mean I am without fear--but that's where God comes in and has to take care of me. I'm scared because I do not have control. This is something totally in God's hands and I don't know how He is going to heal this or what He is going to do with it. But He has what's best for me in mind and wants to bless me. I am blessed and highly favored. Everything is going to be okay, and even more than okay, it's going to be blessed. Satan cannot win. God has me in His hands and won't allow it. God is bigger than this sickness. He is so good.